Ramesh got interviewed day long for the post of assistant professor at Delhi university, during the lunch break the interviewer took him for a lunch at the university canteen, there he ordered a sumptuous meal of fried chicken, and he told Ramesh that –‘You should try this’, Ramesh though very reluctant to taste, still out of courtesy and to save himself from offending the interviewer took a bite, the lunch lasted for 25-30 minutes during which Ramesh talked about his accomplishments full-fledgedly, but on the very next day he was astounded to hear that he did not get selected for the Job

What do you think could be the premise behind this?,

when the interviewer advocated that –‘you should try this ‘he actually meant ‘you should try this sometime’ but thinks got messy when Ramesh misunderstood the statement and grabbed a piece  from his plate, this was a sign of disrespect for the interviewer,he did not want a guy in the university who can’t exude warmth even though how educated he is

We all sometimes do really fail to create the desired impression in our first attempt, people mistrust us ,or not even think of noticing us, you feel underestimated , and you know its your fault, you completely fucked up things, No one is truly an open book, it is hard to perceive weak feelings, psychoanalysis say that emotions like anger distrust happiness can be easily deciphered but not the feeling of being frustrated confused perplexed Your ‘I am kind of hurt by what you said’ face is similar to The face that’ I am not at all hurt by what you said’ there seems to a very week correlation between what people think of us and what we are indeed in reality,

The way we see one another is completely irrational, incomplete and inflexible, for example- when you are at a meeting and someone is presiding , you start suddenly contemplating on some of his points by looking at something else, your presider take you to be lost which you aren’t because you are actually try to figure out his ideas

We all are evaluated in two phases.

In the first phase, the perceiver makes a quick assessment on the basis of stereotypes- checks your physical experience, body language to fill in the blanks, In the second phase – if you do manage to reach- he makes a more deeper analysis to shape his views, he looks though the lenses of trust, power and ego,

Through the lenses of trust he wants to check the traces of warmth (friendliness, courtesy), good intentions and intelligence, power lense aids him to decipher whether you are useful to him. And the ego lens helps him to check are you superior to him?

We all have  to undergo these two phases in our everyday life, but sometimes we fail in the very first phase as something or the other turns messy, so what is expected of you is to provide genuine evidences to help the perceiver shape their view, you have to be attention seeker, and the best way to amend phase 1 and make it to the phase 2 is to step forward whenever you see your perceiver at the mercy of outsiders,

You must be wondering, was Ramesh ever able to amend things yes he was, he later on joined the university had a word , resolves the misunderstanding with the former interviewer and now they are the really good buddies

So if you are waiting for someone around  to accurately size you up, then ;my friends that is never going to eventuate , you need to think strategically in encouraging and provoking others to see you in the best possible light, and if you can do it, then mark my words, it’s never too late to make the right impression

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