Stating the Obvious: Many public relations writers have little or no journalism training and do not know what makes a successful news story some of their news releases have to be rewritten because they state the obvious:
The state fire marshal’s office today emphasized the importance of having working smoke detectors in homes and businesses as a way to save lives.
Parents are worried more than ever about the amount of violence in our society.
A fire marshal is expected to encourage the use of smoke detectors to save lives. That is a routine part of the official’s job, and not news. Similarly, violence has always been a problem; generations of parents have worried about it. In many releases, the real news is buried in the second—or even 22nd-paragraph.
Helping people is a rewarding experience, especially for those who volunteer their time or donate money for their local communities. The reward is seeing friends and neighbors, as well as strangers, benefit from the time and money donated for community projects. Dr. Ronald Bishop, a social psychologist specializing in the subject of private giving, claims that the act of giving is part of the social fabric of a community and helps people become more connected to their community.
Bishop is one of several experts who will present a program on volunteerism and how to get involved with your community that will be presented at 7 p.m. Tuesday, March 5, in the Town Hall auditorium. This interesting and challenging program is designed to raise awareness of volunteering as a way for communities to help themselves develop and achieve common goals.
Absence of Solid Facts: Other sentences contain generalities, platitudes, self-praise and gush, but not facts. While rewriting news releases, journalists eliminate every one of those sentences. Here are three examples: It will be an exciting theatrical presentation that will heartily reward audiences.
An impressive array of speakers will share their wonderful experiences.
The library has a reputation as a friendly, pleasant place to visit. Such gush often appears in direct quotations, but that never justifies its use. If a quotation lacks substance, reporters will discard it, too:
City Council Member Jaitt stated, “The fair is the best ever, with a dazzling lineup of new entertainment.”
“We’re very excited about the opening of the new store,” said Mark Hughey, president. ‘The store represents a new direction for us and extends our commitment to provide customers with the highest quality products at the lowest possible prices.” The platitudes and generalities sound familiar because they are used so often. For example, the following platitudes are similar but appeared in news releases that two different companies used to describe new employees:
We are fortunate to have a woman with Russell’s reputation and background as a member of the team. Her knowledge and experience will be invaluable as we broaden our sales and marketing base.
We were impressed with Belmonte’s accomplishments and his professionalism. We’re extremely pleased with our good fortune in having him join us.
One-Sided Stories: People and organizations submit news releases to the media because they hope to benefit from the stories’ publication. Almost all their news releases are one-sided. They present only their sources’ opinions and often present those opinions as fact. The news releases that do mention an opposing view usually try to show that the other side is wrong.
Because doing so is fast and easy, reporters may be tempted to accept the information provided by a news release. Reporters who fail to check the facts, however, are likely to make a serious error. For example, a college newspaper missed a major story because it received and immediately published a news release announcing that eight faculty members had been granted tenure and promotions. The news release failed to reveal the real story: the fact that a dozen other faculty members, including some of the college’s most popular teachers, had been denied tenure or promotions because they were not considered good researchers. Moreover, the faculty members who were denied tenure were, in essence, fired. A single telephone call to a faculty representative would have uncovered the real story.
Using the Media: Other news releases encourage controversy. Here, too, media that publish such news releases allow themselves to be used. For example, Paul N. Strassels, a former tax law specialist for the Internal Revenue Service, has charged that the IRS uses the media to scare taxpayers. Each year, stories about tax evaders who have been sentenced to prison begin to appear in the media shortly before the April deadline for filing income tax returns. Strassels explains: “It’s the policy of the IRS public affairs office to issue such stories at the time when you are figuring your taxes. The service knows that prison stories make good copy. It’s simply manipulation.” A member of Congress accused the IRS of waging “a campaign of terror among the American people.” He explained the IRS uses tactics “carefully designed to threaten the American taxpayer”-to keep people in a constant state of fear so that fewer will cheat on their taxes.
In dealing with these and all the other problems that they encounter while handling news releases, reporters regularly condense four- and five-page handouts into three- and four paragraph stories.
Some Final Guidelines
First, whenever possible, localize the news releases you handle. A release distributed by the American Journalism Foundation began:
ARLINGTON, Va.-Sixty-seven students, representing the best of the country’s future journalists, will receive more than $186,000 as winners of American Journalism Foundation Scholarships.
The American Journalism Foundation Scholarship Program provides scholarships of $2,500 a year to undergraduates and $4,000 a year to graduate students pursuing full-time journal- ism or mass communication degrees at four-year U.S. colleges and universities.
The news release ended with a list of the winning students and their universities. Perceptive reporters would localize their stories’ leads, focusing on the winning students from their area.
Second, avoid unnecessary background information, especially statements about a group’s philosophy, goals or organization. The information rarely is necessary. Moreover, it would become too repetitious and waste too much space if reporters included it in every story about a group:
MDCA is a private, nonprofit arts organization dedicated to the presentation and advancement of the fine arts in our area.
Throughout the year volunteers give unselfishly of their time as Big Brothers and Big Sisters. “The lives of boys and girls in this community are enriched by their caring,” said Joe Midura, Executive Director, in announcing the Volunteer Appreciation Week event.
