The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E. B. White (Macmillan, New York, 1979) In this chapter, I have only touched on what I think are Strunk’s most useful principles of composition. There are, in addition, Strunk’s rules of usage in case you still get “its” and “it’s” confused and White’s essay on writing, “An Approach to Style,” that includes 21 incisive reminders.
Communication Theories: Origins, Methods, Uses by Werner J. Severin and James W. Tankard, Jr. (Longman, New York, 1988). These authors provide a basic introduction to information theory and describe its influence on communication research.
Other chapters are devoted to alternative models of the communication process. It is well worth investigating those that help you better understand the needs of the audience. They explain “cloze” procedure in their chapter on readability.
Introduction to Communication Studies by John Fiske (Methuen, London, 1982) Fiske is a leading British scholar in the area of cultural studies. His introduction to the mass media devotes considerable space to both semiotics and information theory. Particularly interesting is how Fiske applies two basic concepts of information theory-redundancy and unpredictability (technically called “entropy”)-to the study of verbal and visual messages.
The Mathematical Theory of Communication by Claude Shannon and Warren Weaver (University of Illinois Press, Urbana, 1949) this short book includes a reprint of Shannon’s famous article, published originally in the Bell System Technical Journal, along with an explanatory essay by Warren Weaver. Unless you’re on your way to a degree in electrical engineering, you’re unlikely to make much headway after Shannon’s five-page introduction. But Weaver’s essay exploring implications of the theory for human communication is still provocative after 40 years.
Broadcast News Writing Style: The previous lessons have helped to acquaint you with some of the rather tedious but necessary basics of broadcast news writing. The next step is to learn broadcast news writing style. Broadcast style is very different from other styles of writing, principally because broadcast copy is written for the ear, not the eye, unlike most other writing. Much of the news “writing” heard on radio and television is actually “rewriting.” Although broadcast news reporters write original copy when they are covering a story, a considerable portion of the news on radio and television is gathered from the news wires and rewritten in broadcast style or taken off the broadcast wire and read on the air without a rewrite. This chapter focuses on rewriting the wire.
Rewriting Wire Copy: One semester, a student stopped me at the end of a class and said, “Professor White, I need some help. I have an internship and an opportunity to write some broadcast copy. Can you give me some tips?”
I was puzzled and amused. He was carrying a copy of my textbook under his arm. “It’s all in the book,” I told him. “Everything I’ve learned about writing is there. I have no secret, no ‘quick fIx.’ It’s all important.”
He looked at me, nodding his head in agreement. “I know,” he said, “I’ve read it all, but isn’t there something special, some- thing particularly important that I should remember when the editor gives me a piece of wire copy and says, ‘rewrite this’?”
I was still amused by his question and his apparent panic at the idea of having to write a story from a piece of wire copy in an actual broadcast newsroom, rather than in the classroom. Then suddenly I remembered being in a similar situation before this young man was even born. There was, indeed, one essential point to learn about rewriting wire copy.
“Look,” I said, “there actually is one thing that you can do when you are given that wire copy, that you must learn above all else. Get rid of it as fast as possible. Read it, digest it, and then discard it. After that,” I said, “write what you remember and don’t look at the wire copy again until it’s time to check your facts”
You may find it difficult to surrender the wire copy and rely only on memory, but that is the only way to be certain that you rewrite what is basically newspaper-style wire copy into conversational broadcast copy. The wire services do offer a broadcast wire written in a conversational style, but we are not concerned with that wire. This book will prepare you to do what the broadcast news service editor does with the service’s newspaper wire copy.
Getting accustomed to reading and absorbing material and then expressing it in your own words takes practice. Once you have conquered the temptation to refer to the original wire or newspaper copy as you write, you will discover that your broadcast copy will be easy and natural for you, or anyone else, to read on the air.
Conversational Style: Writing in conversational style means writing for the ear. Newspapers, obviously, are written for the eye, which means that if readers do not understand something, they can return to the paragraph or sentence and read it a second time. In broad- cast news, however, the audience has no such luxury; they hear the copy just once. So, broadcast copy must be written clearly and simply. Thoughts must be expressed quickly with brief, crisp, declarative sentences. They must be aimed at ordinary people, which mean the words must be understood immediately, without second thought. If the audience does not understand the copy, nothing else matters.
Contractions: Broadcast news writers must write the way most people speak. When we have a discussion with another person, we automatically do a number of things of which we usually are not aware. For example, we almost always use contractions. We are more likely to say “I’m going to work now, Frank,” than “I am going to work now, Frank.” And we might add, “Let’s get together for lunch again soon, and” instead of “Let us get together again soon.” In other words, if we contract our words in conversation, we should do the same in broadcast copy. Here are some other examples:
Good Morning, I’m Jack Jones with the late news Here’s a rundown of the top stories we’re covering. We’ve just received word that teachers are walking out of classrooms at Willow Street High School. . . . If you’re driving to work, expect serious delays on the freeway because of an accident at the James Street exit. . . . There’s no word from the mayor yet on rumors he’ll resign. . . . Those are the headlines. Now here are the details. . . . In the above copy, most pronoun-verb combinations have been contracted. However, sometimes-for emphasis-it is better not to contract words. For example: The mayor says he will seek reelection.
Because the word will is key to this particular sentence, it would be better to avoid the contraction he’ll. The newscaster would want to emphasize the word will.
Reading Your Copy Aloud: Reading copy aloud helps you determine when words should be contracted, which words should be emphasized, how clear the sentences are, and how well the copy flows from sentence to sentence. Writers should not be embarrassed about reading copy aloud in the newsroom. The ear, not the eye, is the best judge of well-written broadcast copy. It is almost impossible to catch some poorly written phrases or sentences without testing them on the ear. In particular, you may not realize how complicated a sentence is until you read it aloud.
Avoiding Information Overload: Often, copy that is difficult to understand contains too much information in anyone sentence, a situation known as information overload. Some of the nation’s finest newspapers are guilty of overloading sentences; but, as mentioned earlier, readers can always reread complicated passages. Here’s an example of some copy from a major city newspaper and how it could be simplified for broadcast:
President Saddam Hussein of Iraq, besieged by tenacious domestic rebellions that continued to threaten his control of key cities, Saturday promised broad political reforms that he said would transform his totalitarian regime into a multiparty democracy.
Quite a mouthful it is not well written even for a newspaper, but in its present form, it would be outrageous to read on the air. The first phrase to go should be “besieged by tenacious domestic rebellions,” which is obviously not “conversational” copy. The next passage to be revised would be “transform his totalitarian regime into a multiparty democracy.”
The example sentence would be greatly improved if it were broken into two sentences. What is the most important detail? It is Hussein’s promise to make reforms. So, the story could start out like this:
Iraqi President Saddam Hussein promises sweeping political reforms that he claims would lead to a multiparty democracy.
Then the second sentence could deal with the other major thought-the rebels:
Saddam made the promise Saturday as rebels continued to threaten his control of key cities.
Notice that the word “tenacious” was dropped. Tenacious is not a bad word, but it works better in print than on the air. It is an “elitist” word, and not everyone in the audience will know its meaning. Remember that unless the words are understood, nothing else matters. In a report heard on National Public Radio, two elitist words were used within 20 seconds of each other: ubiquitous and eclectic. Such words have no place in broadcast copy. The reporter who used them had a good story to tell, but many in his audience missed the meaning of the story because they did not understand the words.
Here’s another newspaper lead that needs revising for broadcast: The Energy Department proposes to spend $2.4 billion next year and up to $3.7 billion in each of the following four years to bring the nation’s paralyzed nuclear weapon production plants into compliance with environmental and safety laws, according to Energy Secretary James D. Watkins.
If you read that sentence to some friends, and then asked them to tell you what it says, you would probably find that unless they have unusual abilities of concentration and recall, they would be unable to repeat all the details. That lengthy, involved sentence could be turned into good broadcast copy: The Energy Department wants to spend almost two and one- half billion dollars next year to improve the nation’s nuclear production plants. The funds would be used to bring the paralyzed plants into compliance with environmental and safety laws.
Energy Secretary James Watkins says the government is willing to spend almost 15 billion dollars over the next four years to continue the cleanup and safety checks at the nuclear weapon production plants.
If you read the new sentences to your friends, they would probably remember more about the story than they did when you read the newspaper version. Let’s examine how the newspaper copy was rewritten.
First, it was broken into three parts to reduce the number of details in one sentence. It is easier for listeners to understand the information if they hear it in small doses. The newspaper version mentions two large figures, $2.4 billion and $3.7 billion. In the broadcast version, the first figure was explained in the first sentence, and the second figure was mentioned in the third sentence.
The first figure, $2.4 billion, was rounded off to “almost two and one-half billion dollars.” It is best to round off figures and to eliminate use of the decimal in broadcast copy because the result is easier for most people to understand. The second figure, “up to $3.7 billion in each of the following four years,” was totaled and rounded off. The result, “the government is willing to spend almost 15 billion dollars over the next four years,” is easier for listeners to grasp because they don’t need to do the math in their heads. Notice, too, that dollars is spelled out in broadcast copy.
No attempt was made in the first sentence to discuss exactly how the Energy Department plans to spend the money. It was enough to tell the audience that the department wants to spend this money to improve the plants. Now that the audience has digested that information, it is told how the money is going to be used, “to bring the paralyzed plants into compliance with environmental and safety laws.” And then, in the third sentence, the audience learns that the energy secretary wants even more money in the coming years to complete the job. Just in case the audience was not paying complete attention, how the money is to be used was mentioned again in the closing words “to continue the cleanup and safety checks” at the plants.
Last, the middle initial D was dropped from Secretary Watkins’ name because the secretary does not use the initial consistently.
Avoiding Relative Clause: Other sentences that produce information overload are those that contain relative clauses. Relative clauses are introduced by the relative pronouns who, which, that, what, whoever, whichever, and whatever and add information to simple sentences. Newspapers often use relative clauses to stress one point about a person or thing over another in a particular sentence. Because relative pronouns refer to nouns that precede them, TV and radio audiences may have trouble identifying the noun and pronoun as the same person or thing lake this example found in a newspaper:
The comments from the State Department spokesman came in response to a report in the English-language Tehran Times, which quoted a source as saying Iran would definitely intercede to gain the release of the hostages if Washington gave assurances it would release frozen Iranian assets.
Whereas newspaper readers would immediately know that which refers to Tehran Times because the words are next to each other, a broadcast audience might have to stop and think about what which refers to. When this copy was rewritten for broadcast, the relative pronoun which was removed and the sentence was cut in two. The noun newspaper was used again instead of the pro- noun:
The State Department spokesman made the comments after a report appeared in the English-language newspaper The Tehran Times.
The newspaper quoted a source as saying Iran would definitely help win release of the hostages if Washington promised to release frozen Iranian assets.
Other changes included recasting the passive construction in the first sentence as active and replacing the phrase intercede to gain with the single word help. Likewise, gave assurances was simplified to promised. The second version is better for a broadcast audience because it does not use pronouns or wordy phrases that could cause misunderstanding.
Which, when used as part of a clause that adds descriptive detail about a noun, also presents unnecessary problems for broadcast writers lake this print copy:
Two people were killed today when a small plane, which was on a flight from Key West to Miami, crashed into the ocean off the coast of Key Largo.
All these details will be simpler for your audience to digest if you give the number of dead and where the crash took place in the first sentence and explain the departure and destination of the plane in the second sentence. Here’s a broadcast version: Two people died today when a small plane crashed into the ocean off the coast of Key Largo. The plane was on a flight from Key West to Miami.
Relative clauses introduced by “that” contain information important to the meaning of a sentence, not just additional details. For example:
The truck that jackknifed on the freeway today was carrying flammable liquid.
The that clause identifies which particular truck was carrying flammable liquid. In some sentences, that can be omitted because the sentence sounds more natural and is clear without it. For example: The governor says that he’ll leave the capital by plane this evening.
Dropping that makes the sentence more conversational: The governor says he’ll leave the capital by plane this evening.
Eliminating Long Words: Short words are usually easier to understand than long ones and, crucially for broadcast news, where time is precious, they take less time to deliver. For example:
Police abandoned the search is more difficult to say than Police gave up the search. Here are examples of long words and some shorter ones that could replace them in broadcast copy:
AVOID USE
Extraordinary unusual
Acknowledge admit
Initiate start, begin
Transform change
Certain words should be avoided because they are difficult to pronounce on the air. Here are some examples:
AVOID USE
USE broke into
Coaxing tempting
Recrimination countercharge
Autonomy independence
Deteriorate grow worse
Allegations charges
Intermediary’s go-betweens; negotiators
If you are unsure about other words you find yourself using, remember that reading them aloud is the best way to decide whether they are appropriate broadcast words. If a word is difficult to say or sounds strange or confusing to the ear, don’t use it.
Conjunctions: Coupling pins such as “but” and “and “are often helpful in connecting sentences or parts of sentences. Using conjunctions to link ideas to one another often can help broadcast copy sound more conversational. However, do not overuse conjunctions. Remember also that some conjunctions that work in print, such as the however in the previous sentence, do not always work as well in broadcast copy. Use but instead of however in broadcast copy.
Prepositions: Prepositions can also help make copy more conversational, particularly when used to eliminate the possessive, which tends to make listeners work harder to follow the meaning. Here are some examples; the first uses the possessive:
The Senate Armed Services Committee’s spokesman announced a series of new hearings on budget cuts.
Here is a preposition used in the same sentence:
A spokesman for the Senate Armed Services Committee announced a series of new hearings on budget cuts.
See how much easier it is to read the version with the preposition. It is more natural. The preposition is more likely to be used than the possessive in conversation.
Pronouns: We use a lot of pronouns during conversation, and they serve a useful purpose in broadcast copy. They eliminate the need to repeat a person’s name. Some difficulty arises, however, when pronouns are used too far from the person’s name or more than one name is mentioned in the sentence or paragraph. Examine this troublesome use of a pronoun:
The Boy Scout of the Year award was given to Frank Jones by Mayor Harris. Immediately after the presentation he slipped and fell on the stage. Who slipped and fell on the stage, the mayor or the Boy Scout? The pronoun he does not work here because two males are mentioned in the sentence. The person who fell should be identified by name.
Modifying Phrases: Some writers, in their eagerness to tell the story, often get the details right but put the words in the wrong order, thus changing the meaning of the sentence. Look at the following example:
Russian officials said political prisoners arrested by the KGB during former communist regimes have been released at a news conference today.
Because of the placement of the modifying phrase at a news conference, this sentence implies that the prisoners were released at the time of the news conference. What the writer meant to say is:
Russian officials said at a news conference today that political prisoners arrested by the KGB have been released. When you use modifying phrases, be sure to place them as close as possible to the word(s) they describe or identify. Here’s another example:
The two cars collided in heavy rain on Interstate 95 during the rush hour. News Director Susan Brown of WJBO-Radio works on a newscast. (Photo by Christopher]. Rogers)
It’s true that the “heavy rain” did fall on the highway, but it also fell elsewhere. When recast to be less ambiguous, the sentence reads this way:
The two cars collided on Interstate 95 in heavy rain during the rush hour.
Avoiding Cliches: In preparation for writing this book, I watched television news in a number of major cities. The reporting was often good, but the writing was just as often horrible. When you watch and listen to news for hours at a time, you realize how badly broadcast copy can be written, not only on local stations but on the networks as well.
Newspaper writers, including those working for such distinguished publications as the New York Times, Washington Post, and Los Angeles Times, turn out a lot of long, cumbersome copy that sometimes takes several readings to digest. But, to these newspaper writers’ credit, their writing is rarely as cliché filled as the copy produced by broadcast writers and reporters.
Broadcast news managers often argue that their writers do not have as much time as newspaper writers to produce copy, which is often true. They also point out that some of the cliché filled copy I complain about is not very different from the way people talk. “We’re writing conversational copy, aren’t we?” asked one news director, “so what’s wrong with a few cliches? We use them all the time in conversation.”
Some people might find that argument persuasive, but writing in a conversational style does not mean adopting all the bad habits of conversation. Many people hold conversations without using cliches.
The American College Dictionary defines a cliche as “a trite, stereotyped expression.” In his book Newswriting, William Metz says a cliche is “a phrase that has been used so often that it has no zip, has outlived its usefulness. A cliche is a worn-out phrase.” He adds, “These barren, impotent word combinations are used by careless and lazy writers.”
We all use cliches from time to time, but you should avoid as much as possible using cliches in broadcast copy, even though some cliches are heard every night on news programs. For example, killers are often “coldblooded”; “slaughter” is always “bloody”; and events “come on the heels of” other events. Broadcasts during political campaigns in particular inundate listeners with cliches, such as “hats in the political ring,” “campaign trails,” “political hay,” and “political footballs.”
Here are some more cliches that should be (if you will excuse the cliche) “deep sixed”: Airliners that become “ill-fated planes” after they crash Politicians and others who “take to the airwaves” Lobby groups and others who “are up in arms” People who end up “in the driver’s seat” Facts that are “difficult to swallow” Plans brought to a “screeching halt”
Comments or actions that add “fuel to the storm” (a mixed metaphor) 1roublesome situations that are a “can of worms” or a “Pandora’s box”
Why are so many things “put on the back burner”? What is wrong with “delaying action” or referring to something as having “a low priority”? Say simply that people are “delaying” or “avoiding” something, rather than “dragging their feet.” Police should be “searching for” or “looking for” or even “hunting for” a missing person, not “combing the woods” for him or her.
Broadcast writers who use “cooling their heels,” “tight-lipped,” and “Mother Nature” should be “tarred and feathered.”
Although some newsmakers insist on referring to something as being “miraculous,” do not use the word to describe some spectacular escape from death or injury unless you are quoting the newsmaker. Use instead “unbelievable,” “amazing,” or “incredible”
“Rampage” is another “worn-out” word that will never go away. Instead of using the cliche to tell a prison riot story, describe what’s actually going on inside the prison. For example:
Prisoners at Center City jail this afternoon took five guards hostage, burned cellblocks, and demanded that Governor Wilson come to the jail to hear their demands.
A tabloid TV station in Miami, in its story about the arrest of a suspect in the Florida State University serial killings, reported the following:
People are breathing easier tonight because a suspected serial killer is behind bars.
As it turned out, the suspect was then released for lack of evidence, so we can assume that the breathing in the community became heavier again.
A network sportscaster reporting about a series of injuries in the NBA wrote this sentence:
Officials are scratching their heads for an explanation. All of the above are examples of “lazy” writing. Whenever you are tempted to use a cliche, make the extra effort to think of a fresh way to express your point.
Writing what you Mean: During the Gulf War, the English language also came under attack. It was not an Iraqi boat that was sunk in the gulf, it was a ship. A boat is something you paddle or sail. If you are referring to anything larger, use ship.
In writing broadcast copy, be precise. Use the right word. If you do not your credibility, a key factor in building a career, comes into question.
Here are a few words and phrases commonly used incorrectly on the air:
The consensus of opinion is that the war will be over within a few months. [Of opinion is redundant; consensus means “general agreement.” There was bad weather over the gulf due to a fast-moving storm front. [Due to means “owing to”; use because of the fighting is different than last week’s. [Different here takes the prepositionf1um. However, it is correct to say: The fighting is different than he expected.] The number of people injured was over a dozen. [Over implies a spatial relationship; use more than.] The house is further down the road. [Further means “in addition to”; use farther to refer to distance.]
Since you are going downtown, please get me a newspaper. [Since refers to a relationship of time; use because to indicate a causal connection
These are just a few examples of improper word usage. A good background in English grammar is important. Most college journalism programs insist that you take one to two years of English, but it is not always easy to find classes that emphasize grammar. Ask your adviser to recommend a teacher who teaches courses on grammar.
Good Grammar and Some Exceptions: The same rules of grammar apply to both print and broadcast copy, most of the time. Writers do take a few liberties in broadcast copy because of its conversational nature. You’ll recall that commas can be omitted from broadcast copy unless they indicate a pause and that subordinate clauses should be avoided in broadcast writing. Another exception: verbs can be dropped from some sentences, as is frequently done in conversation.
For example, if you are talking to your letter carrier and say, “Looks like snow today, Helen,” no one is going to object because you did not say, “It appears as if we are going to get snow today, Helen.” Therefore, it would be natural for a newscaster to say, “Three injuries tonight on the turnpike, that story when we return.” Few people will take offense because the newscaster did not say “There were three injuries tonight on the turnpike.”
More Style Rules: This chapter focuses on broadcast style rules. Much of this chapter is devoted to the use of verbs, adjectives, and other parts of speech. It also examines the various ways broadcast writers express time, quote people, and attribute information.
Verbs
Present Tense: Broadcast news must always present an image of immediacy. Without deceiving an audience by treating an old story as if it were fresh, the broadcast news writer’s job is to tell the news as though it is in progress or has just recently happened. If a story is still developing or has just cleared the wires, a news editor should make it sound as new and exciting as possible because most of the audience will be hearing the story for the first time. Use of present-tense verbs, particularly present-progressive verbs, which suggest ongoing action, adds to that immediacy. For example, in covering a meeting at the White House that is still in progress, a editor would best say:
The president is meeting with his cabinet this morning to discuss the budget.
Only if the meeting had ended by the time of the newscast would the editor use the past tense:
The President met today with his cabinet to discuss the budget. When writers use the past tense they tell the audience that the event has already taken place, even though some aspect of it may actually still be in progress. Look at the following examples to see how the use of present-tense verbs focuses on the continuing action:
Poor: Members of Congress ended their session today and headed for home.
Good: Members of Congress are on their way home today after ending their session. Poor: A hurricane warning was issued tonight for Florida and Georgia.
Good: A hurricane warning is in effect tonight for Florida and Georgia.
Present Perfect Tense: Another verb tense that gives a sense of immediacy is the present perfect which suggests that an action started in the past and is continuing into the present. For example:
The president has left Camp David for Andrews Air Force Base.
The present perfect tense is useful when the status of the story is not certain.
In this case, it may be known that the president left Camp David, but it may, not be clear when he is going to arrive at Andrews Air Force Base.
Mixing Tenses: Because a news story may mention events that happened at different times 011 may report a statement that still holds true but was made earlier, it is acceptable to mix tenses in broadcast copy. For example, a story may begin with the present tense and then change to the past tense in later sentences so that the story makes sense. Here’s an example of changing tenses:
Mayor Jones says he hopes to keep property taxes at their present level. He made the comment during a speech earlier today before a meeting of the Chamber of Commerce. The mayor told the group he expects an improving economy and a reduction in city expenses will eliminate the need for higher property taxes.
The first sentence uses the present-tense verb says, but the rest of the paragraph uses past-tense verbs because it would sound strange to continue the present tense once it is established that the mayor made the comments earlier in the day. But suppose the mayor has not yet delivered the speech. The story might be handled this way:
Mayor Jones says he hopes to keep property taxes at their present level. Jones will say this tonight in a speech to the Chamber of Commerce. The mayor says he believes that an improving economy and a reduction in city expenses will eliminate the need for higher property taxes.
In this case the present tense is used to describe opinions the mayor holds now, and the future tense is used to describe when he will express them opinions. The fourth and fifth sentences might continue with the future tense:
The mayor will also tell his audience that he expects to attract new business to the city. He’ll say he has a promise from Governor Williams for extra state funds to take care of the city’s needy.
