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Using Self-management and Social Skills

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Controlling emotions

Negative emotions – especially from a leader – can have a big impact in the workplace. To avoid negative effects, you need the skills of self-management.

These skills include controlling feelings and impulses and being able to adapt to changing circumstances. Controlling emotions is the fundamental competency in the self-management domain. This ability comes after you can identify your emotions – and the reasons for them, which are competencies in the self-perception domain.

To help control your emotions, you can use several techniques

Self-control techniques are only part of controlling emotions, however. As a leader, you don’t have a solitary work life – you have to deal with other people every day. So you also need interpersonal techniques for controlling emotions. Interpersonal techniques include letting other people explain themselves first in a disagreement; honestly expressing emotions, discussing the reasons for them, and searching for solutions; and taking responsibility for your actions and feelings.

Facilitating

When you can understand and manage your own emotions, you can move on to mastering the fundamental skills in the social domain. Social skills are useful for your interactions as a leader, and they also help you increase the EQ of those you lead.

In the social skills domain, the fundamental competency is having the ability to facilitate. Facilitating refers to the skill of recognizing how to meet the needs of others and then meeting those needs.

Facilitating involves three main techniques

Emotional intelligence in controlling emotions begins with techniques for self-management. You can interrupt negative patterns with logic, reduce stress, talk things through with a third party, and write down your feelings.

Interpersonal techniques include letting other people explain themselves first, honestly expressing emotions along with the reasons for them, and taking responsibility for your own actions and feelings.

The most important competency of EQ in the social skills domain is facilitating. The three main techniques in facilitating are to use evocative comments, let people express themselves and participate, and keep people informed.

 

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