You see a new boy entering the classroom and start commenting about his dressing sense. While you are flattered by his personality, you don’t want to admit it and continue to draw in your own conclusions. Then my dear friend, you are being highly judgmental.

We’ve all been there. Frankly, anyone who says they haven’t been judgmental is probably lying. The thing is, being judgmental is not just an act, rather it is a part of our behavior. Let’s face it; we judge others because we need to feel better about ourselves. But most importantly, being judgmental gives us the satisfaction that we are better than others. It indeed makes us feel superior and secure.

In today’s world it is easy to be a bystander and judge the deeds and actions of others. We tend to view others from our perspective and often end up being prejudiced at the first sight. We certainly judge the actions of everyone around us and constantly view their actions through our own evaluative lenses. Though we don’t intend to find faults or humiliate anyone, yet out of necessity, unknowingly, we judge people and make first impressions of them in our minds. What comes next is the exchange of negative vibes which eventually results into hatred.

When we criticize, we have the ability to interfere with someone’s self esteem. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “It is not the critic that counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood.”

However, we cannot deny the fact that it is human nature to be judgmental. We see someone and based on their looks and actions, we pass judgment on them. Most importantly, it is usually without even knowing the person. We don’t even tend to make an effort to get to know the person or understand them or at least check if our judgment was right or wrong.

When we lash out at others it is a defense mechanism. Our behavior is a product of feelings and issues we are trying to cope with and these have nothing to do with other people. We all are different and have our own opinions and not everyone is going to agree on everything. This fact is beautifully summed up in the lines of Rumi, “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop”. We shall thus start to see the best in others as it’ll help bring out the best in us.

We can help ourselves by scrutinizing our behavior and keeping a check on our thought process. We should notice our ways and stop ourselves from judging others. Then we can proceed forward by understanding the dynamics of the situation. Putting ourselves in other’s shoes and accepting the circumstances will let us see the clear picture and do away with the unwanted sarcasms.

Also, we need to know that when we always have a reason behind our every action, so it is with everyone else. It is just that we need to find out their back story before being so judgmental. Not everyone has had the same experiences, challenges and blessings that we had. We make our choices because of our unique upbringing and life circumstances. Thus we shall be a little more understanding and empathetic. Then we can go and make an effort to talk to them and know the reason behind their actions.

We can even step forward to watch out our language. If we genuinely want to help someone or give them an advice, we must watch out on our words. We can avoid using words that are negative and critical. Instead of being judgmental and telling them what they “should” do, we can rather give them a suggestion and let them decide what’s right for them.

In addition to this, we all know that judging is a part of gossiping. Moreover, it is more tempting to judge others when we are with a gaggle of friends. We can avoid this by discussing a better topic or else simply moving out of the conversation if it becomes a bit judge-y.

As Earl Nightingale pointed out, “When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself”. Hence we should not be so quick to judge others, we never know when we might just find ourselves walking in that person’s shoes.

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Stormy day with water logged roads and traffic jam it was. Jack’s mom was anxious as her son wasn’t picking up the phone. Her heart began to pound. She was going mad and stuck with the fear of her son’s safety. She shook from head to toe and found herself panicky. She could do no less than call her husband and a whole lot of Jack’s friends. To add to this, the news on the television channels drove her crazy. Her inquisitive and over thinking mind left her broken. But the fact was that Jack was a 19 year old grown up lad who was one amongst those who were stuck in a heavy traffic snarl. What was more was that his phone’s battery was almost dead and the networks poor. While the boy was struggling hard to get home as soon as he could, he had no idea that the situation was becoming worst at his home.

Most of us live with fears throughout our lives. The phone ringing at an odd hour, any family member returning home late or just a casual delay in picking up the phone call gives us palpitations and throws us in a panic. At such times we feel bounded. We’re unable to think clearly and flooded with anxiety. A racing heart, sweating palms and being confused are the results of adrenalin. We feel the need to escape these thoughts and break free the chains of our negative feelings. No doubt that we are normal people and stressing out is a human tendency but of course, with abnormal anxieties, we often end up making our lives dreadful.

Our mind loses control and fear occupies the larger part of it. Our reaction struggles against our feelings and we end up succumbing to the negativity in our lives. We forget to believe in the power of the Almighty and instead begin to trust our negative instincts. We tend to think about the worst of the situations and get the conclusions by ourselves. The end result is that we are left to lament and be sorrowful and our heart is build up with fears of the present and the future.

We need to understand that imagination is a tool and our emotions are clearly linked to it. Problem arises when we let the emotional part of the brain swamp the thinking part and control our imagination. We shall keep our analysis from getting in the way of our thinking. To add to this, we must know that if we can have faith in God in the best of our times, then we should not doubt his plans in our worst. He is there to guide us and knows the best for our lives.

Over the years, we all have known our strengths and weaknesses. We can easily overcome them by breaking these chains of fear inside us and believing that there is a great deal of wisdom in the idea of preparing “affirmations”. As the author Katherine Patterson once said, “To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another”. Thus the ability to recognize our fears, assess the causes and decide how to proceed can help us in life.

We may even make a list of the fearful chains that control our minds in such situations. Also we can make a list of the “affirmations” that shall provide an escape from such negativity and help us stay calm. We may see the positive change happening right through our mind and instead of explanations and excuses we will find ourselves believing in good things, happiness and well being.

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We will be able to keep the diseases at bay

According to the facts, vegetarians consume less animal fats and cholestrol (and vegans consume no animal fats and cholestrol). Thus, the vegetarians have lower blood pressure compared to people who eat meat. Hence they have less chances of heart diseases and cancer.

We won’t fall for foodborne diseases

It has been readily observed that meat, poultry, fish are rich in food borne illness outbreaks. Moreover there is always a greater chance of consuming toxins and chemicals. People who consume fish are prone to many diseases easily because it is a fact that fish contains carcinogenics and heavy metals which cannot be removed even by cooking and freezing.

We will be able to stay healthy and keep our weight in check

Yes, it is true that vegetarians are overweight. But that is due to the blind consumption of junk and sweets. A proper balanced vegetarian diet helps stay fit and maintain the perfect shape.

We shall live longer

A proper vegetarian diet helps build up strong bones and gives energy. Moreover, meat can be difficult to digest. According to the research, vegetarians tend to be healthier overall and live longer.

We will save money

Vegetarian diet is cheaper than chicken and meat. In addition to this, it contains unhealthy fats and is higher in calories.

The innocent souls shall be spared

Believing  the facts, ten billion animals are slaughtered for human consumption every year. While we are killing someone to fill our stomachs and enjoy our tastebuds, we have a choice to spare them for our own good.

So go, try some vegetarian food. And the best part is that you will find your plate full of colours. A balanced vegetarian diet contains different foods with different colours!

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Rahul’s parents bought Caspar when he was seven years old. Rahul was their only child and Caspar became his only company. While Rahul used to go to school, Caspar became a helping hand to his mommy. While the family was out for dinners, Caspar became the caretaker. While Rahul’s father was about to quit his regular morning jogging sessions, Caspar became his motivation.

Caspar is a Golden Retriever who is now about to join the league of abandoned pedigree dogs that are dumped on the roads everyday. Rahul is twelve now. His parents are blessed with a baby girl. They are already going financially low; they can no longer bear the cost of vet bills, boar-dings, dog foods and toys. Moreover, it is not safe for the little baby to stay in the same house as Caspar, they say. In addition to this, Rahul is now a grown up and busy with his studies, so no one has time for the innocent soul.

Caspar is definitely not the only one. With each passing day, we can find as many pets infested with maggot wounds, starving and with a broken spirit. While some are lucky to be rescued, others perish due to heartbreak or hunger.

Delhi over the years is witnessing a rise in the number of abandonment of not only pedigree, but even mixed breed or desi dogs that were once pets. According to the recent facts, only one out of every ten dogs born find a permanent home. Moreover, the ratio of the homeless animals to the homeless people is 5:1.

Various shelters functioning in the city on an average get four to five abandoned pets everyday. These dogs that reach the shelter are mostly in a terrible state, as once on the street they have no reflexes to take care of themselves. They get bitten by street dogs, starve and often get hit by cars. Also, re-homing of old dogs becomes difficult for the rescuers.

WHY SHOULD WE CARE?

Pets are the innocent creatures which are kept for a person’s company or protection. They have the ability to stimulate their caretakers. They can help cope up with emotional issues and achieve health goals. They can be our constant companion. All they expect from us is love and care.

HOW CAN WE HELP?

1. Spread awareness about the pet abandonment situation through social media.
2. Volunteer at a shelter. Engage in walk dogs, playing with pups, handling the routine cleaning tasks, helping in fundraising. Remember to never leave the shelter animals to be put to death.
3. Donate money or goods like food, toys, blankets to help save the lives of the pets. But make sure the organisation is non profit.
4. Foster a homeless pet. This will help in freeing up the valuable space and resources at the rescue homes.
5. Adopt a pet and open your home to an abandoned pup or kitten. Today many shelters maintain an online presence. You may review the photos and the descriptions of the companion animal that are available for adoption.

HOW TO BE A RESPONSIBLE PET OWNER?

1. Before getting a pet, educate yourself on understanding that it is a lifetime commitment, and that the pet would need the same care as a child. Do not impulsively go and get a pet.
2. Not all dogs are meant for Indian climates. The market is flooded with breeds such as Siberian Huskies and Saint Bernard, which are not meant for a tropical country like ours. Also, big dogs aren’t meant for small flats.
3. Adopt, don’t buy. This will give a chance to hundreds of dogs languishing in the shelters. If you see an animal in distress don’t hesitate to help.

If you have ever considered adopting a companion animal in need, the time to act is now!

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‘Man’ means mind and ‘tra’ means wave or projections. Therefore, a mantra is the projection of the mind through sound vibrations.

Have you ever wondered why we suddenly react if someone passes on negative comments to us. Or why we don’t like to be surrounded by a handful of people even when they don’t speak anything bad. This is because we humans are not just flesh and bones, we are the energy beings. Our energy travels and thus when someone passes any negative thoughts or words about us, we start to react at the same level. Similarly, we feel good and loved when people compliment us. We feel positive when they inspire and motivate us. Our mood suddenly lifts up and we feel full of energy and enthusiasm when we engage in a happy conversation. This is the therapeutic use of words.

Mantras, too, are words with higher sound vibrations. They are a commonly used spiritual practice which is considered a route to the spiritual development.

How do chanting mantras affect us?

1. Helps in oxygenating the brain
2. Normalizes our hormone production, which balances our mood and overall sense of well being
3. Reduces anxiety and depression
4. Activates the body’s natural healing process
5. Helps block the release of stress hormones and increases the immune function
6. Reduces the heart rate and blood pressure
7. Assists in creating calm brainwave activity
8. Facilitates better concentration and memory power
9. Aids in getting over addictions like alcohol, smoking and drinking
10. Lifts us above mere earthly pleasures

Mantras turn the negative into positive. Someone has very rightly said that, “As music has charms to soothe a savage beast, so the spiritual sound of mantra soothes the restless mind.”

Mantras are most powerful if they are practiced daily at a fixed time. While the ideal timings are early mornings and evenings, we may practice it whenever we feel better. Moreover, it is important to note that the place too plays an important role. The place shall be calm and peaceful.

Let us look at some popular mantras and what message do they convey:

1. Mahamrityunjay mantra , which reads:

OLM TRAYAMBAKAM YAJAMAHE

SUGANDHIM PUSHTIVARDHANAM

URVARUKAMIVA BANDHANAAN

MRITYOR MUKSHI YAMAMRITAT

The literal meaning of this hymn is: Oh! Creator of this Universe, Your fragrance can be experienced all around. It is my humble prayer that I may lead a life that may liberate me from death in the same manner as the musk melon gets detached from its creepers after it has become ripe.

2. Gayatri mantra, which reads:

OM BUHR, BHUVA SWAHA

OM TAT SAVITUR VARENYAM

BHARGO DEVASYA DHEEMAHI

DHIYO YONAHA PRACHODAYAT

This implies: We meditate on the glory of the Creator, who has created the Universe, who is worthy of worship, who is the embodiment of knowledge and light, who is the remover of sin and ignorance, may he open our hearts and enlighten our intellect.

3. NADA BRAHMA VISHWASWAROOPA

NADA HI SAKALA JEEVAROOPA

NADA HI KARMA NADA HI DHARMA

NADA HI BANDHANA NADA HI MUKTI

NADA HI SHANKARA NADA HI SHAKTI

NADAM NADAM SARVAM NADAM

NADAM NADAM NADAM NADAM

This means: Sound is Brahman, the manifestation of the Universe, sound manifest itself in the form of all life, sound is bondage, sound is the means for liberation, sound is that which binds, sound is that which liberates, sound is the bestow-er of all, sound is the power behind everything, sound is everything.

So next time when you chant any of your favorite holy mantra, do it with the intention, conviction and emotional attachment and see the power it unfolds for you.

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Self love is the only ingredient to a happy and wonderful life. The love, respect and response we get in our lives is the result of the value we put of ourselves in this world. If you too are someone who is constantly worried about how people feel about you, what do they think when you do this or else what will they say when you do that, then you are defnitely not an exception dear friend!

We Indians have been born and brought up in this environment of constant judgement where we are always instructed to care more about how Sonu could manage to get admission in an engineering college and how Radha could find such a perfect match. Thus we end up  growing as individuals who are always juggling between the thoughts of the society and have a hard time balancing our own emotions. We need to stop caring way too much about what people will think.

The biggest challenge is to stay persistent in our endeavours. Very often we know we can do it, but unknowingly end up losing our self esteem. The idea is to not to succumb to the negativity around you . Starting from the scratch is never easy but you should never give up and make your way through all odds.

Any time you feel pulled in a negative direction, just ask yourself to answer these  three simple questions: “Why am I doing it?” “ What will the results be?” “Will I be successful?”. Efforts may fail but don’t fail to make efforts. Remember, the only backing you have got, is your own damn spine!

You may go through these six steps and regain a sense of calm and happines in your life:

1. If it feels wrong, don’t do it. Learn to say no without explaining yourself.
2. Say exactly what you mean. Trust your instincts and respect your thoughts.
3. Don’t be a people pleaser. Never speak bad about yourself.
4. Be kind to yourself. Never give up on your dreams.
5. Let go of what you can’t control. Just stay away from drama and negativity.
6. Most importantly, don’t ever forget to love yourself. Make sure you are so good that you cannot be ignored.

Dear friends, go smile, work hard and do what makes you come alive, because opportunities may not always land up at your doorstep. You create them!

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” –Jordan Belfort

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